Where do babies come from?

“Mum, where do babies come from?” is an inevitable question that many of us cringe at the idea of answering. We don’t want to be vague, dishonest or misleading but we also don’t want to give too much information that might end up being a little inappropriate for our children’s age. Well, Sophie asked this question some time ago and I was able to be honest…

"See this scar on Mummy’s tummy? Well the doctors cut my tummy open to get you and Elliott out, then they stitched my tummy back together”. Yay for my caesareans! Then over time, at Sophie’s request, I had to introduce the concept of natural birth too. She thought it was quite comical that a baby would come out of a vagina but she has slowly come to terms with that idea too. Then we were driving along yesterday and Sophie declares “I’m pregnant Mummy”…

These words are cute, funny and kind of sweet out of the mouth of a 4 year old. If it comes out of her mouth in another 10 years time however, I will kill her! Anyway, I responded with:
“Really? Is there a baby in your tummy?”.
“Yeah” she says, casually as anything “I’m pregnant with Bridgy”. (Bridgy is Sophie’s imaginary husband).
“Wow, that’s special. How did you get pregnant?” I was a little hesitant asking this question, genuinely concerned about the questions it would raise and how much information I am ready to give to her about baby making this early on.   
“We got married of course!”
Thank God that was her answer! “Of course. That’s right, because you have to be married to have babies. Of course”.
“Yeah, Bridgy and I got married and now I’m pregnant with Bridgy”.
Then I thought I would push the conversation a little further. “Well how did the baby get in your tummy?” I asked, waiting for her answer with baited breath…
“Through food of course!” Sophie answers, acting like I was a fool for not knowing this. Then she went on to explain the whole process for me. “Well, you just eat grapes to get a baby in your tummy. That’s how I’m pregnant with Bridgy because we ate grapes together after we were married. But you have to eat the grapes softly or you’ll crunch the baby”.

So there you go, do away with your pills, Implanon, vasectomies and condoms because all you need to do is avoid eating grapes with a member of the opposite sex. Easy J   

Parliment Question Time

I love my children every day. Some days they are funny, cute and delightful which makes me enjoy them a lot. Then there are days like today where Elliott whinges and screams his head off and Sophie just doesn’t shut up with the five million questions about anything and everything. Here is just a little snippit of the conversation we had on our way home from swimming lessons this morning…only one suburb away!

"Mum, you forgot to strap Munchkin in. You forgot to put Munchkin’s seatbelt on".
"Sophie, Munchkin is your responsibility so it is up to you to make sure she has her seatbelt on".
"But why? You need to put it on".
"No, you are Munchkin’s Mummy so it is your job to look after her. You need to make sure she has her seatbelt on".
 "But why?"
A little frustrated and in a stern voice I replied "Because I said so. I have enough to worry about without having to look after your imaginary friend too. You can look after her".
"OK Mum. Mummy, did you know Munhckin’s Dad doesn’t build signs anymore?" (yesterday, after seeing a flattened road sign, Sophie decided Munchkin’s Dad, Bridgy, builds signs for a job).
"Oh really? What is his job now then?"
"Well you see, Munhckin’s Daddy’s job is to do the dishes and tidy the house up and look after Munchkin".
Taking the opportunity to stress the importance of my job raising Sophie and Elliott I said "Oh that is a very important job looking after Munhckin and keeping the house tidy. But the most important part is playing with Munchkin and helping her to learn. That is a very important job Bridgy has".
"Yeah, you’re right. But why does Bridgy have to make Munchkin learn?"
"It’s not just Bridgy who has to help Munchkin learn, you are her Mummy so you have to help her learn too".
"But why?"
"Because you are both Munchkin’s parents and both have the important job of helping her learn new things".
"Why are we parents?"
"Parents are people who have children, like Daddy and I. We are yours and Elliott’s parents".
"But why?"
"Because you are our children so that makes us your parents".
"Is Poppy a parent?"
"Yes, Poppy is my Dad so he is a parent"
"What about Nana? Is Nana a parent too?"
"Yes, Nana is my Mum so she is a parent too".
"What about Uncle Sam?"
Getting a little tired of the endless questions at this point, I sternly replied "No Sam and Mel haven’t had kids yet so Sam’s not a parent yet"
"What about Aunty Mel, is she a parent too?"
"No Sophie, if Sam isn’t a parent then Mel isn’t a parent either. Remember they are married"
"Then why don’t they have any kids yet?"
"Because not everyone has to have kids straight away. People can have kids whenever they want to after they are married".
"Well why don’t they have kids now?"
Fishing for some reasonable explanation for a 4y/o I said "Because they haven’t got their own house yet".
"But why?"
"Because it takes time to save up money for a house. When they have a house, then they will probably have kids. OK"? (feeling really over the endless questions now).
"I have money in my money box. But how will the buy a house?"
 "When they save their money and find a house they like they will buy it".
"But how will they carry it?" 

Sigh. I simply replied with "Look, Sophie, a red car driving by" in an effort to distract her from the endless questioning…

"But where are they going? Are they strangers? They aren’t coming to my house. Are they going to swimming lessons?"

Double sigh. The questions just never end!

Reality check

Oh my goodness…I had forgotten how delightfully simple life is with only one child! This week, Sophie started her two consecutive days of attending Kindy and while we are only hours into day two, I am LOVING it!!!!

When we got home from dropping Sophie off this morning, it was like Elliott and I had a moment of realisation that we were all alone and could safely play however we wanted to without a certain four year old bossy boots (albeit a beautiful, kind hearted one) interrupting. First thing was first, Elliott raced down to the bathroom and climbed up the step in front of the vanity because, after all, Sophie sneaks in there all the time to eat the toothpaste so there must be something fun up there J The toothpaste didn’t catch Elliott’s eye but the plug did so he spent a good quarter of an hour with the tap running gently simply putting the plug in and out of the basin. He giggled and squealed with delight as the water drained away and it made me realise I was forgetting to enjoy the simple things with him.

Then we left the bathroom and Elliott plonked down next to Sophie’s craft trolley. I pulled out some paper and a sheet of round stickers and we sat on the floor while Elliott joyfully peeled and stuck (well, tried to anyway) stickers all over his page. I of course talked him through colours and counting and all the incidental learning things you can do when you are able to focus on one child without stress and interruption. Again it made me realise I am completely forgetting to teach Elliott about the simple little things, like colours and counting.

Finally, just now before Elliott went down for his nap, we played farm animals where I named and made the animal noises while he jiggled them around and cheerfully threw them in the fenced paddock we had constructed. I think this is the first time I have even focused on animal noises with him…talk about slack!

So in light of the mornings events, I have realised I need to pull my thumb out of my arse, encourage Sophie to be more independent in her play and spend far more of my day engaging with Elliott. The poor child has no hope if I continue the way I have been and unknowingly neglect his learning and development. Good grief, I am an Early Childhood Teacher for Heaven’s sakes, I should be doing a much better job than I am! Don’t worry Elliott, a change for the better is coming…I promise xox      

My handsome little Elliott!

Toast but no kids

Good morning everyone! Happy Monday J I am back, well sort of…my Mum is letting me borrow her laptop for a little longer so I can keep in touch with the technological world. It is quite scary how dependant I am on my laptop to run various elements of my life…my blog, banking, surfing the net in an effort to procrastinate on jobs that actually need to be done...you know, the usual. So today I am back and I have a funny Sophie story to share with you all. A good giggle to get your week started J

I was making toast for breakfast this morning when Sophie pipes up “When I am a grown up, I am going to have one like that with buttons and turny things and everything”. I established that she was talking about the toaster and I confirmed that she can absolutely have a toaster of her own when she grows up and that if she behaves herself, I might even buy it for her. She declined my offer, instead declaring “No, when I am a grown up, I will buy my own toaster. But I won’t have any kids because grown ups with toasters don’t have kids yet”. She then went on to explain her perception of the course life should take. First you are a “teeny tiny” baby, apparently the size of a grain of rice. Then you be a “whingy baby like Elliott” before “getting bigger” and heading off to Prep. Then you get to be a grown up (not sure what happens in all those years between) and buy your own toaster but you don’t have any kids. I then said to Sophie that you only get to have kids after you are married (not a belief that particularly concerns me however when it comes to my own child, hell yes she can wait until she is married to have kids. In fact, it is only at her wedding that I will hand over the key to her chastity belt!) Sophie agreed and then said “I will have to try, try, try and try to find someone who likes to marry me. Then we can both have a toaster and babies”. So simple J

Note to self – more conversation required with Sophie on the notion that she doesn’t need a husband. Sure she can have one if she wants to but she doesn’t need one. Work harder on emphasising the importance of independence and career…a challenging example to set when, despite my two University degrees and previous employment, she sees me in my role as a Stay at Home Mum day after day. Hmmm…       

Not such a happy Monday

Hello loyal blog readers! I am SOOOO sorry for not getting a post up yesterday!!! It just wasn’t my day…

On Sunday night, the talk at Church was all about being present, living in the now and enjoying what is right in front of you because, quite simply, you have no guarantees of tomorrow. It was there and then I decided my focus on Monday would be on my beautiful children…and boy did the powers that be hold me to it! 

Elliott woke early howling with teething pain (bloody molars) so I had to abandon my plans to go to the gym and get the washing sorted. No worries, I wanted to be present anyway. While I was feeding him breakfast, I thought I would be sneaky and write Monday’s blog. I opened my laptop, turned it on but there was nothing but a flashing power button and blank black screen to greet me. What the?!?! I tried every technical thing I know…turning it off and on…but to no avail. So I conceded defeat and thought “Righto Universe, you win this round, I will be present with Elliott and write my blog later”. The morning went on with quite a few dramas, the biggest of which being Elliott taking a head first dive off the chair and onto the tiles. What a thump! So I sat on the kitchen floor with him screaming in my arms (and letting me cuddle him so I knew there was something really wrong). Sophie was then balling her eyes out because he fell off the chair as a result of her trying to wipe his face so I had her in my lap too. So there we were, my beautiful children and I sobbing on the kitchen floor…not sure why I was crying, peer pressure perhaps?? 

Anyway, we made it through the morning (just) and once the kids were down for an afternoon rest, I went to the PC in the office, which I hardly ever use, to type up my blog. I turned it on and discovered there was no keyboard…Mat had swiped it to set up a computer in his shed in order to rebuild a lawn mower motor via “you tube” videos (I live in a circus). No worries, I just put on my brave hat and ventured into his shed to find the keyboard. Only two stubbed toes and one scraped shin later, I was sitting at the PC, keyboard plugged in ready to type. Then I thought to myself “While I am typing, I should upload the photos from my phone so I can send some to Elaine (Mat’s Mum)”. So I got the required cord and plugged it in to the USB port on the front of the computer. It made a really funny sound and I just told it to stop being cheeky (still in Mum mode…I should have known computers don’t make cheeky noises like children nor do the respond to verbal behaviour modification instructions). I then attached my phone to the other end of the cord and BANG! The computer sparked, shouted at me and then started blowing smoke. Shit, shit, shit, I had blown up the PC too. You win again Universe. So I called Mat, who firmly told me “Just don’t touch another f*#!ing thing. Don’t even open the fridge” and I conceded defeat. 

The lesson I have learnt from all of this is that I will never make a decision, vow or promise at Church again because the Universe takes these things really seriously. Perhaps a better lesson to take away would be if I decide to be present with my children, then I better flippin well do it. Yes, let’s run with the latter lesson.  

So while my computers are at the doctors, I have no idea how frequently I will be able to put up my blog posts. Today I have ventured out in the pouring rain to my Mums house to use her computer (thanks Mum!) but I wont be able to do that every day. I will try my best though to keep blogging because I know you all love it and I love writing it. I will be back as soon as possible I promise! Kate xox

Happy Friday!!

Good morning everyone, happy Friday J I thought we could end this week with a few Friday funnies on what having children has taught us. Enjoy J...

• There is no such thing as “childproof”...they will always find something to break into, open up, break apart or jam their little hands and limbs into. Childproof shmildproof.
• If you have lost something, check the fridge. For some strange reason, lots of toys and household items end up in the fridge when children are around.
• The volume of one child is the equivalent of about eight adults shouting in closed a bathroom.
• Children have a 98% success rate of jumping on their Dad’s and consequently kneeing them in the crotch. Mat has suggested he might start wearing a box to bed in an effort to avoid such morning greetings.    
• After playing “restaurants” with your children, always check the grill before turning it on...playdough melts quickly with an open flame above it and it’s messy.
• If your child asks “Guess what’s in my hand?” chances are you don’t want to know. If your child asks “Guess what it is my mouth” you really don’t want to know.
• Any sentence starting with “Mummy, I accidentally...” or “Ooops” usually means bad news.
• Finally, silence is not golden. Silence means trouble. Silence is the biggest alarm bell of all.

Happy Friday J



Time poor

Good afternoon (nearly evening!) everyone J I am so sorry I have not put up a post yet today. Since I woke at 4:30am for the gym, it has been go go go! Right now, dinner is in the oven and the kids are amusing themselves (for 5 minutes anyway) so I have managed to take some time out to write today’s blog entry. And what a beautiful day it was...

Today was Mum’s Group and we ventured to Coohiemudlo Island. With nine children in tow, we boarded the ferry and set off for a day of fun in the sun. It was just beautiful! There is really nothing too exciting to report about our day over there, just the usual stuff like pooey swimming nappies, a wee on the picnic rug, a few fights to break up, a couple of injuries to attend to and endless food to be administered to our hungry brood. You know, same old same old J In amongst all that, we did manage to fit in some swimming, sand play and beach cricket though so it was really a lovely day.

Now we are back home, the kids have had their sleep and it will soon be time for dinner and a bath. I don’t know where the day has gone! That brings to mind a few quotes about time that I hope you enjoy...you know how much I love quotes!! J

Saying you have no time is no excuse; we all have the same amount of hours in a day (this one is a huge favourite of mine).

Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.

You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future

Lost time is never found again.

Very insightful xox