Do you know why I am feeling really happy today? It is because, over the last few weeks, I feel like I have finally fallen in love with my son. I know some of you might find that statement a little shocking (especially when Elliott is 15 months old!) but I know many of you who have ridden the PND boat will completely understand what I mean. I have loved Elliott since he was born because that is what a mother is “supposed” to do, but I found it very difficult to actually fall in love with him...I am sure you can appreciate it is difficult to fall in love with something that screams at you day and night, chews on your nipples and would rather be anywhere but happily snuggled in your arms. But, as time has gone on, Elliott has progressed from screaming daily, to whinging all day and now to being happy most of the day. This has done wonders for my emotional wellbeing and has allowed me the opportunity to genuinely fall in love with him. It is an amazing feeling having your heart bursting with love towards your children and something I am going to try and explain...
Back on a rainy day in November 2007, I learned of a love that I had never felt before, a love that I never knew existed and a love that I had never dreamed to be possible. Sure I knew what it was to love my husband, love my family and friends and love certain elements of my life, but this love was different...it was a love beyond words...it was the love I felt the moment I became a Mother.
The second I laid eyes on my daughter, Sophie, the whole world stopped. My heart felt like it was going to burst and tears streamed from my eyes. There were at least ten medical staff in the room and I was literally lying on a table with my guts cut open, but none of that mattered. In fact, I didn’t even notice it at the time, all I saw was my beautiful daughter, bruised and battered from those damn forceps, covered in muck and in the arms of her terrified father...it was just beautiful. Then I passed out from the exhaustion of three days of labour, but it was still the most wonderful moment of my life. The day I became a Mum, I discovered what love was really about J
Hands down, the love you feel towards your children has to be the world’s best kept secret. I can guarantee you that if you want to top up your Love Jug to maximum capacity, just think back to the moment you fell in love with your children...it is truly magical.
I’ll end with this beautiful quote I found from a mother to her baby: “No one else will ever now the strength of my love for you...after all, you’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside”.
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