Expectations

I have just completed the BAS (woot woot) and am now dealing with a very cranky little guy…he’s unimpressed with my lack of attention towards him over the past 24 hours. Perhaps I should study the advice I gave yesterday on time management so this cram session doesn’t happen again in the future (wishful thinking!)

Elliott’s frustration brings to mind the ridiculous expectations we have of ourselves as women, particularly as mothers. Elliott has been conditioned to expect my full attention and a day packed with engaging activities. Sure there are days where he and Sophie have to fend for themselves while I get some necessary chores done, but on the whole, I am at their beck and call (one of the “highlights” of motherhood). What I struggle with is the guilt I feel when I don’t engage with the kids to my utmost ability or when I have a down day and dabble in some economy class mothering. I hold myself to impossibly high standards and when I don’t reach those standards (which happens most days) I beat myself up about it. How foolish!

If any of my friends came to me and expressed that they were feeling guilty for not be consistently on top of their game, I would pull them up straight away! I would tell them they are doing a fabulous job and that it impossible to be 100% happy and productive 100% of the time. I would tell them there is no such thing as Super Mum and that being the most super Mum they can be is perfect for their children. I would tell them to be more realistic about their expectations of themselves, which, in turn, would create a far happier and more relaxed household.

So if this is what I would tell my friends, why is it so hard for me to hear this golden advice? Who knows!?! Hopefully, one day very soon, this advice will resonate with me and I can take steps towards a more realistic idea of what being “Kate” means for me and my family. Food for thought anyway J