Pretty Crappy Mum syndrome

Hello, Mother of the Year reporting for duty…not! Good grief, I have just got back from grocery shopping with the kids (why do I do it to myself?!?! I must investigate this online shopping business) and I am officially declaring myself a pretty crappy mother today. Actually, the title of “pretty crappy mother” is really an accumulation of all the pretty crappy things that have happened this week…

As you know, Elliott is prone to head injuries on a frequent basis (if he has learning difficulties in the future I will know why!) This week was no exception. Poor little guy was playing with Sophie on the top level of the playground, which is at my head height, and I was standing right there beside them. Elliott ventured over to the other side of the playground, probably only 1 metre away from me. I told him ‘No Elliott, back over this side now thank you”. He was a great listener, he turned around right near the edge but unfortunately instead of walking back over to me, he thought he would sit down in defiance. It all happened so fast but Elliott took a huge tumble off the top level of the playground and landed smack on his poor little back and head. I screamed and raced around to the other side of the playground and picked him up gingerly, hoping he hadn’t broken anything. Thank God he was OK and after a lengthy cuddle he pepped up a bit and continued to play. Well done, Kate (yes, that is sarcasm you detect in my voice).

Later that same day, Elliott got himself stuck under the desk in the office and rolled the chair over his fingers. Poor thing, I went in to rescue him and as I propped him up on my hip saying ‘Poor little guy, you are in the wars today”, I banged his head on the cross trainer (most action that thing has seen all year)! Tears galore and more Mummy cuddles followed. Again, nice one Kate.    

Then just now, Elliott was sitting on the ground, which is the last place you would expect a head injury to occur. He thought he would have a look under the couch but as he got into an all fours position, his hand landed on one of Sophie’s plastic mirrors and it slipped right out from underneath him. Bang went his head on the tiles and more tears followed. Holy dooley, Kate, buy the kid a helmet!

To wrap up my “pretty crappy Mum” efforts with Elliott, yesterday afternoon I was frustrated and distracted while sunscreening the kids up to play outside. Sophie pumped a huge dripping handful of sunscreen into her hands so I wiped some off, lathered it in my hands and smeared it over Elliott’s face and arms. Within the hour his face was blotchy and his eyes were red and watering. Bloody Hell! I had smeared his face with the sunscreen he is allergic to! So into the shower he went and I scrubbed him from head to toe through fits of screaming protests. Thankfully nothing else came of it but seriously, way to go Kate.

Moving onto Sophie…she is sunburnt! Shame shame shame! We went to the pool yesterday and despite carting three different sunscreens with me (Elliott’s sunscreen, one for Sophie’s body, one with zinc in it for Sophie’s face and also a stick of zinc) she still managed to get burnt. She burns like a piece of toast! So when we were doing the groceries today, my crappy motherness was on display for all to see and pass judgement on. Boy was I judged! Perhaps it was Sophie’s sunburn, perhaps it was my constant telling off of Sophie, or perhaps it was the lolly pop I had hanging out of my 16 month old baby’s mouth just to shut him up. Who knows, but I did not get one friendly smile from a fellow mum with that “I get it” look, instead I got frowns and judgement thrown at me through glares of disgust. I have to admit though, I have been one of those judgemental mothers in the past so maybe today was a lesson from the Universe on reserving judgement. Lesson duly noted Universe, now can I put my order in for a more positive week next week please?