Sleep....oh sleep

I am having one of those days where there is just so much to do that I don’t even know where to begin! Housework to be done, errands to run and phone calls to be made…so here I find myself sitting to type up my blog (seems like as good of a place as any to start my day J)

What a laugh, did I just say “start my day”? Considering I have been up three times to the kids through the night and eventually up for the day about four hours ago, perhaps this isn’t technically the start of my day. I’d have to say that that is the one thing that comes as the biggest shock when you become a mother…the utter lack of sleep! Once you have a little human in your life, they will dictate if and when you can sleep for years to come. If they wake up with wind pains, you’re up too. If your toddler wets the bed at 2am, you’re up too, changing them and the sheets. If your 4 year old wakes up after a nightmare about a crocodile snapping her cuddly toy away, you’re up too. No matter what the reason for their waking, you will be the one there to soothe them back to sleep and make them feel safe again…regardless of how exhausted you might be. Then there is the off chance hubby wakes up as you creep back into bed post child settling. He is oblivious to the fact you have been up endlessly and announces “Can’t you sleep babe? I know what we can do…” nudge nudge. Good grief, they have no idea!!

This situation brings to mind a poem I came across by Kerri Sackville who is an author and columnist for Mamamia. It is called “Let me go the f*** to sleep: A wife’s lament” and I warn you, there is some use of very coarse language.   

The kids are finally in bed
With sweet relief I weep.
I go up to the bedroom.
Time to go the f*** to sleep.

In only seven hours my
clock radio will beep.
I need to catch each minute
of my precious f***ing sleep.

It’s been a long, hard day
of work and chores and problems deep.
I cannot wait to get to bed
and go to f***ing sleep.

I tiptoe through the door and
to my bed I softly creep.
Don’t want to wake the hubby
who – thank god – is fast asleep.

I slide beneath the sheets
and fall into a crumpled heap.
I close my eyes then hear a voice:
“Hey babe, are you asleep?”

I lie there very still and then I
start to count some sheep.
I’m hoping he will take the hint
and let me f***ing sleep.

Just as I drift into my dreams
his hand begins to creep.
He thinks it’s time for making love!
It’s time for f***ing sleep!

He snuggles in and nuzzles me
and out of bed I leap.
“Don’t even f***ing THINK of sex!
I want to go to sleep!”

He looks at me so hopefully,
his boxers torn and cheap.
“I bet I can convince you
that you’re not ready to sleep!”

I shake my head and climb back in
and lie on pillows deep.
“There’s not a chance in hell,” I say,
“now let me f***ing sleep!”

“We never do it anymore,”
says hubby. But he’ll keep.
Quite frankly I don’t give a f***.
I’m already asleep.

So spare a thought today for those exhausted mothers out there and the evening battles that are raging…battling to get kids to sleep and battling off unwanted advances from their husbands!! Sleep, sleep oh precious sleep, how I miss you so.