Good morning everyone :) As I mentioned on Friday, I feel like this weeks blog posts will have a very reflective tone to them as I celebrate turning 28. My life is not even close to how I imagined it would be by this age so I have a lot of reflecting to do and even more forward planning to dabble in!! So in order to work from the ground up, today I want to talk about taking stock of our lives...
Now you all know I absolutely LOVE Dr Phil and one thing that he says all the time is "You can't change what you don't acknowledge". This makes so much sense when taking stock of your life! We need to look at where our lives are at right now, look at what we like about it and consider which things are really working for us. Then we also need to look at what we don't like about our life, what's not working for us and have the courage to tackle these issues head on. It brings to mind The Prayer of Serenity:
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
I did some Googling on the very topic of "taking stock of your life" and there were a common thread of reflective questions that I came across. I would suggest finding some alone time this week (today would be even better!), sit in a really comfy chair, grab a notebook and pen and start going through some of these questions. If you are really in the zone, you'll probably come up with even more questions to ask yourself and may even move into the "forward planning" phase of taking stock.
1. Do you have balance in your life?
This one will be different for all of us because we all have different commitments in our lives but I imagine the main topics will center around work, family, health, relaxation, socialising and goals. The traditional view of a single set of scales balancing up two options is so far from how we operate in this fast paced world today. I picture it more like juggling balls and our attempt to keep all the balls in the air moving smoothly and rhythmically so as not to collide with one another and come crashing down. After asking yourself if you have balance in your life, dive in a little deeper and look at where things are out of balance. At this stage of reflection, don't overwhelm yourself by trying to work out how to balance things, simply take stock and see where things are out of balance.
2. Do you regularly engage in behaviours that are nurturing for you?
This one is VERY important!! For some ridiculous reason, we tend to feel guilty if we dare to put ourselves, our interests and our wellbeing first. The reason it is so crazy is because how can we expect to care for others and put 100% into our lives if we are operating at less than capacity? It just doesn't make sense. As mothers, as women, as human beings, we must must must nurture ourselves first so we can be the best version of ourselves that we can be. When answering this question, identify the behaviours that are nurturing for you but also identify the behaviours that are not nurturing for you (eg - eating a whole cheesecake because your stressed...nurturing at the time because hell yes cheesecake tastes delicious, but not nurturing in the long run because nothing good can come healthwise from eating a whole cheesecake in one sitting!!)
3. Do you surround yourself with positive people that make you want to be a better person?
This question will really get you thinking. I am a strong advocate of surrounding yourself with people who enrich your life and bring out the best in you. I see absolutely no sense in allowing negativity and energy zapping people to come into your bubble and make you feel like rubbish. Of course, you are always going to come across people who rub you the wrong way and you may have no choice but to have contact with them (eg - family/extended family, friends partners, your children's friends parents once they start school etc etc). The good news is that yes you should be respectful and civil but you don't have to let these people get close to you. You just need to accept that you will see them from time to time, have to engage with them and listen to them spout off about things that you wholeheartedly disagree with but ultimately, you choose how to react to this. I am certainly a "water off a ducks back" kind of person and my self worth is not measured by other peoples perceptions, opinions and ideas of me. So if I have negative people in my life that I can't rid myself of, then I just tolerate them in the moment and don't give them a second thought when I am away from them. The biggest thing you should be asking yourself with this question is "Who are the people in my life that have a negative impact on me?" Once you have identified them, you can categories them into two groups: one group you can sever all ties with and abolish that negativity from your life, the other group will be made up of people you just have to have contact with and learn how to tolerate. Easier said than done some days!!
4. Are you clear on your values?
When I first saw this one, it really got me thinking. I hadn't ever considered putting my values and "life philosophy" if you will, down on paper, but it is a really wonderful exercise to try. Once you identify your values, you can take stock and see if your life (career, family, money, socialising etc) reflect your values and keep you moving in the direction you want to go. Really take the time to answer this one properly because it is very reflective.
As you can imagine, there were LOADS more questions but I think these four will keep us busy enough for today. At some stage today, or this week, I am going to go through these questions and take my life's inventory. I hope you get the opportunity to do the same and I would love to hear from you on your experience of it :) Happy Monday xox
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