Stress City

I have a bubbling pit of stress and anxiety festering away in my stomach and no matter how many Ferrero Rocher chocolates I inhale this morning, it just wont go away!!!! My stress and anxiety has nothing to do with turning 28 and fretting about where my life is/isn't heading. It does, however, have everything to do with being a grown up and all the stressful responsibilities that go along with it!!! As with most of us, the primary stressor for me right now relates heavily to finances!!!!! I can't keep a little strawberry plant alive so it is no wonder my money tree just wont sprout. Anyway, I am not going to bore you all with my rant about how much I am hating the ATO right now, or how frustrating it is having only one very sporadic income, the rapid rise in the cost of living, the non existent rise in Carpenters hourly rates or the worry about providing for your children's future. As I said, most of us are in the same boat so I would be preaching to the choir!!! I just wish that one day, I could wake up and and someone would have cleared my debts and plonked a whole lot of savings in the bank...wishful thinking!

I know today sounds very negative, but it just isn't my day. I am back to having horrible sleep patterns where I am awake for most of the night (sleep deprivation is torture...it turns you into a cranky bitch!) and while I am laying awake, my mind runs a million miles an hour and just stresses me out. On the bright side, at 3:30am yesterday, I was able to recall the entire phonetic alphabet which I had been attempting to do since Saturday night :) This morning, I finally fell back to sleep at about 5:30am and knew that the kids would soon wake me up so we wouldn't run late for the day. Instead, both kids slept until 6:45am which would be great except for the fact we had to leave the house at 7:15am!!!! It was go, go, go from there to get out the door (thankfully we were only running about 10 minutes late) and in amongst it all, Elliott decided to draw all over the wall with a coloured pencil, not the nice washable marker sitting right beside it! Then I let the dog inside to clean up the floor after the kids engaged in their daily ritual of dropping toast and spilling cereal all over it, only to discover that the flipping dog had rolled in shit!!!!!!!!! Now today, on top of having to do the BAS, call the ATO, do the banking, the washing and mow the lawns, I now have to wash the freakin dog as well...frustrating!!! 

Poor Elliott, he will have to have economy class Mum today while I try and "get things done" instead of experiencing the day and being present with him. Being a grown up really sucks some days :(