Breaking Point

Me: "Hello Breaking Point, my name is Kate. How are you?"

BP: "Ah yes, hello Kate, we've been waiting for you all week. Good to see you". 

Me: "I thought it was you nipping at my heels for the past few days". 

BP: "Yep, that was me sending all the rain your way and giving the kids a pinch of feralness with every meal". 

Me: "Thanks, thanks for that". 

BP: "You're very welcome. I hope you enjoy your time here at Camp Breaking Point. Just head down the corridor on your left to join all the other Mum's where you'll receive your complimentary glass of champagne. Enjoy!"

It's official, I have reached breaking point. In fact, last night after I had my rant and rave at Mat and the kids, I told Mat that I am beyond breaking point and am actually at broken point. Aghhh! My breaking point drama exists in the realm of meal times, particularly dinner. I often hear the horror stories of fussy eaters not eating their dinner, screwing their noses up at the meal before them and making the experience of the evening meal shit-house for the whole family. Fortunately, this has never been a major drama in our house but times have changed...

Last night, the kids did their usual song and dance of fussing and screwing up their noses at dinner. I tried playing good cop Mum and told them how deliciously healthy it was and that they need to eat it up to be fit and healthy and strong. I sang, I smiled and I ignored their nonsense until I could take it no longer. "Right that's it" I snapped to the chorus of whinging and pushing away of their plates "I've had enough. Get down from this bench right now. That's it, I'm not making you guys dinner any more. I am sick of you not eating it so you are not going to have dinner ever again! And this meal that you refuse to eat will be served up to you for breakfast, lunch and dinner until you eat it all!" In hindsight, clearly these statements were irrational and I can't exactly follow through with the notion of never giving them dinner again, but still the words poured out of my mouth like and erupting volcano. I am just so sick of the nonsense! So in a clearer frame of mind after the kids were in bed, here is what I came up with to define the problem for us...

• Sophie has stopped napping and as a result is tired and feral come dinner time. She comes to the table ready to do battle and I buy right into her drama. 
• There seems to be no correlation between how hungry they are and if they will eat dinner or not. Yesterday, they had not eaten anything since lunch and still refused their dinner!
• Mat is rarely home at dinner time but when he is, the kids behaviour improves significantly. 
• Bribery with lollies or dessert work a treat on Sophie but I don't want her having sweets every night. Hmm, catch 22. 
• When the kids have turned up their noses at their 5pm dinner, I have tried reheating their dinner at 6pm and they sometimes have a bit more of a go at it then. Maybe I need to make dinner time later but how to deal with the pleads of "I'm hungry" up until then??
• They happily eat elements of the dinner while I am preparing it...is that such a bad thing?
• With the age difference between the kids, there is no single rule that I can apply to both of them. Eg "Eat four more mouthfuls and then you can hop down" works well for Sophie but Elliott has no idea what I am on about...and trying to force feed him is impossible because unless he puts the spoon to his mouth himself, it simply wont happen.

With all of this in mind, maybe these are some strategies I need to have a go at to improve our dinner time dramas:

• Start giving them dinner for lunch or spread it over the course of the day. 
• Have dinner later than 5pm.
• Get the kids involved in choosing ingredients for and preparing dinner.
• Create more meals where they can serve themselves and feel like they have a bit more control.
• Keep hiding the vegies in everything as well as serving up vegies on their plates. They'll get those nutrients into them somehow! 
• Give them a multivitamin to put my mind at ease about not getting enough nutrients (particularly with Elliott and his refusal to eat meat). 
• Give them nothing but healthy options all the time.  
• Make dinner a happier occasion and stop looking at it as something to get through. 

And when all else fails, I just need to remind myself that my job is to provide the kids with healthy food choices and it is up to them to eat it. After all, kids wont very well let themselves starve. 

        

Rain, rain go away

I don't know about you guys, but this household is going stir crazy with this endless rain! Let's review...

I have been putting off the washing because I don't want the expense of using the dryer so our clothes supply is depleting fast. But as I sit here typing in one of Mat's t-shirts, I think I will just have to bite the bullet and get at least one or two loads done this morning. At least this rain is watering my money tree so I can pay the electricity bill when it comes (things to do today: plant a money tree).

As for Sophie, she seems to be going through waves of emotion like a teenager with PMS! One minute she is polite, kind, happy and pleasant to be around but the next she is throwing the time out chair, shouting and slamming doors. She refuses to venture outside to Puddles Town and burn off a decent amount of energy so she is instead investing her time in bothering her brother. 

That brings me to said brother, Elliott, our little outdoor adventure man; this rain is severely cramping his style! He steps outside ever so briefly and then starts whinging because it is cold and wet. Then he comes inside whinging because he can't go outside. Then Soph tries to cuddle him, which Elliott is not a huge fan of, and the whining amps up about five notches. Then I shout at Sophie for the 100th time "Leave your brother alone!". Then she switches from sweet Sophie mode to feral teenager Sophie mode and the cycle continues. Gotta love rainy days!

As for me, I am a bit all over the shop. I feel great at times, ready to take on the world, but then other times, I feel frustrated, angry and like I just want to run away to the land of peace and quiet (it exists, I'm sure of it...explorers are seeking its location as we speak!). I swear, if I have to hear any more whinging, whining, screaming, fighting or crying, I am going to lose my marbles! A contributing factor is probably that I have been forgetting to take my happy pills on occasion so I have bought myself a little weekly pill container to make sure I remember. I look on the bright side that I must be in a good enough place with my depression to recognise if something isn't working and I implement a strategy to fix it. Bonus!

So in an effort to make today a better day, the kids and I are off to Mum's Group to spend this wet weather with another 10 children who will be as equally wound up. Hmmm. At least all us Mum's will be in the same boat and can enjoy a cuppa and ignore the whinging together. I love my Mum's Group gals xox    

      

Success!

Well, I cannot believe it! I actually successfully completed the detox and I feel fabulous! It was all I had hoped for and more. I have more energy, I feel happier, look brighter, slept better and am 2kg down! Sure it is probably water weight or whatever the term is but seeing lower numbers on the scales inspires me to keep going on this weight loss journey. On a completely non-physical level, my mind seems clearer and I feel like I could take on the world and achieve anything I set my mind too! It is a great feeling and what I have been searching for for a really long time. So in hindsight, the detox has worked wonders at setting me firmly on the path to success...I haven't felt this awesome in a really long time (since before I was diagnosed with PND in fact!). I would recommend detoxing using the 48hr Rapid Detox program to everyone but of course, I am not a doctor or an expert by any stretch of the imagination so use some common sense here and assess if it is right for you.

So today I am tackling my extremely messy office with very important bills and paperwork lost in there somewhere. I have been very mature (not) over the last few weeks and have completely ignored bills and any financial matters because it has just been too stressful and depressing. I hate how expensive it is to live these days and the fact that there is never enough money to go around. The obvious solution is for me to go back to work but the cons to that arrangement far outweigh the pros of having an extra few hundred dollars a week. There is no way to get this time back with the kids and with Sophie off to school next year I am already reflecting on how fast the last four (nearly five) years have gone by. It's not that I don't want to work (good grief, being a stay-at-home-Mum is the equivalent of TWO full time jobs so it is definitely work, we just don't get paid for it) but I feel that for my little family, the best choice is to stay home with the kids, at least until they are both at school. I know this arrangement doesn't suit everyone but that is a topic for discussion another day :-)

Anyway, as I was saying, today I shall tackle the messy office, then I want to clean the pantry, do up a menu plan, do the washing and address the issue of putting far too many things on my To Do list! I also have a few ideas running through my head for novels so I want to find some time today to hash them out a bit. Speaking of stories, I got a letter regarding the short story competition I entered and unfortunately, I didn't make the top 10. Bit of a bummer but I am feeling OK about it. It is kind of like that feeling when you go to buy your favourite treat at the supermarket only to find they are out of stock...disappointed, but not the end of the world. In my eyes, writing and submitting the story was my goal and I have achieved that. It is only onwards and upwards from here and who knows where this writing journey will take me (hopefully to J.K Rowling status!! LOL). 

With all these things to get done today, the kids will be left to entertain themselves a bit. Sophie is still in her PJ's and watching a movie so the TV is baby sitting her and Elliott is playing in the car. Don't panic, the car is in the garage that adjoins the living area, the windows are down, the keys are out of it and he is perfectly safe. I can hear him, I can see him, he can hear me and whinge at me so all is right with the world. Speaking of bad Mummy moments, I put Sophie in time out last night for being stubborn, rude and cheeky. She had to stay there so long for ignoring me every time I went to get her out that she fell asleep in the time out chair! Another one to add to the growing list for my Mother of the Year entry form :-)

Detox: Day Two

As I sit here typing today's post, I am so freakin proud of myself!! I successfully made it through detox day one and I am pumped to complete day two! This never happens. I always attempt these health kick things but fail immediately with the temptation of wine and baked goods being too great. Not this time though! I am actually going to complete this and it will mark the beginning of a new healthy lifestyle. Woot woot! So here is my plan...

Day one and two will be the detoxification process. Juice and water are the only things passing my lips. 

Once detoxification is complete, I am going to have a go at...no, no, not "have a go at", let me rephrase that; I am going to successfully go on a shake diet to lose some weight. Like detoxing, I know there are pros and cons to shake diets but with an excess of 20kg to lose, I am eager to use the shake diet as a kick start to slimming down. 

Once I have been on the shake diet for an unknown period of time (probably until I lose a noticeable amount of weight) I will then go on another juice fast but not for detox purposes. This juice fast will be a few days of juices made by me and I will also eat truck loads of fruit and vegies too, purely for the massive nutrient intake. 

Then, once all of this is done, I will go on with a normal healthy eating lifestyle and will hopefully never have to be on this weight loss bandwagon again! My problem is that I eat all the normal healthy food we are supposed to eat in a day, but I wash it down with an overindulgent amount of wine, soft drinks and baked goods! I am not going to go down that path again though and I will enjoy these things only in moderation. Being health, fit and happy is surely worth more than those few minutes of tastebud indulgence.    

Operation Detox

Good morning everyone :-) A gorgeous cloudy day here in the Sunshine State and very fitting weather for the mission I am embarking on....Operation Detox. This is a bit of a buzz word and there are of course two sides to every argument; some people are for it and others see it as a complete waste of time because our body detoxes naturally anyway. I am all for it right now because I feel like I need a total cleanse of mind, body and spirit to move my life forward. I feel really stagnant and bogged down with the day to day business of being a Mum so instead of just telling myself that I will change things, I am actually engaging in a physical transition by the way of a 48hr rapid detox. I will be sipping on a surprisingly tasty juice for the next two days and consuming enough water to drown a fish. I'll also be doing a whole lot of body brushing which apparently assists removal of toxins by stimulating the lymphatic, immune and circulatory systems. Light stretching and walking will also be on the agenda along with a few meditations and a bit of Yoga and Pilates here and there. There is one other detoxifying element they recommend but I am not completely comfortable with the idea just yet...colonic irrigation or self administered enemas! You know I am all for trying new things but this is taking me way outside my comfort zone. The idea of some poor human having to stick a hose up my backside to extract shit is just mortifying! Perhaps I will attempt it in the future, the very distant future, but for now, I will stick to the juice, stretching and body brushing. 

So for out Motivational Monday piece, here are some tips on detoxifying our mind, body and spirit...

1. Watch less TV: This one is a no brainer. 
2. Spend less time on the computer: Also, a good idea for very obvious reasons. 
3. Stop thinking negative thoughts: Remember the saying "As you think than so it is". Every thought you have manifests itself in a physical way so negative thoughts are going to produce a negative result. So try and be positive, positive, positive.  
4. Stop talking negatively about others: Gossiping and bitching is a bad idea and only makes you look like a nasty person. Think of your Nan's vice saying "If you haven't go anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".   
5. Use natural cleaning products such as bi-carb soda and vinegar: We face a chemical onslaught every single day so try and reduce the presence of chemicals on your home for a happier, healthier you.  
6. Exercise! Just get moving!
7. Sleep well: Adopt a routine for going to bed such as having a bath, burning lavender oil or just sitting quietly (sans TV). 
8. Breath deeply, often: There is overwhelming evidence of the benefits for deep breathing so do a bit of research and find a technique that works for you (if you are like me, you are breathing deeply right now while you read this!!)
9. Try body brushing and hydrotherapy where you alternate the hot and cold water running on you in the shower. It is supposed to help eliminate toxins but I think I will wait until Summer to try this one out. Brrr!
10. Volunteer: We are all so time poor but it is so good for to soul to help others without any expectation for anything in return. 
11. Reconcile: There are of course some people you just shouldn't reconcile with depending on the kind of hurt they inflicted upon you. In this case, try to forgive them (for your sake, not for theirs).
12. De-clutter! Just get rid of all those things you know you don't need. Donate as much as you can to save our planet from unnecessary land fill and also to help out those in need.
13. Do the opposite of what you normally do. If you are a homebody, get out and about. If you are always out, stay home and relax every once in a while. A change is as good as a holiday. 
14. Learn to tune out negative energy coming from others. 
15. Smile! Smile so hard that when other people see you smiling, they wont be able to help themselves from smiling too! 

Well those are just a few ideas to get us all started on detoxing our lives from the inside out. Give it a go today and see how much better you can feel xox

Friday Funnies

Hooray, hooray it's Friday today! I am walking around with a big goofy grin on my face for no particular reason at all. It's a nice way to start the day and it seems to be having a positive impact on the kids too. Bonus! I am looking forward to a day of pottering around the house, doing chores and playing with the kids... admittedly, I am not actually looking forward to doing the chores but I am looking forward to the end results of having a nice clean and orderly house for 5 minutes.

Anyway, in light of my good mood, I thought I would share a few funny things about motherhood to end our week on a happy note. Enjoy!! 

I let Sophie choose the cereal on the groceries this week and she chose Nutri Grain. If you ask her what it is called though, she will firmly assure you it is called Future Grain.

After some pretty smelly pop-off's, I told Sophie she needed to go to the toilet to do a poo. She insisted that she had been that morning and therefore did not need to go again. In an effort to encourage her, this is how our conversation went:

Me: "Sophie, just because you did a poo this morning doesn't mean you can't do another one today".

Sophie: "No Mum, I did one this morning. I'm fine".

Me: "Lots of people do more than one poo a day so it is OK for you to go again".

Sophie: "Huh?"

Me: "Yep. Like Daddy. Sometimes Daddy will do 2 or 3 poo's a day" (I totally made that up but I had to try and encourage her some how and I wasn't very well going to throw myself under the bus).

Sophie: "No, actually he does 4 poo's a day...he's pretty awesome" (said with a beautiful little grin and her head tilted in daydream style of how wonderful Daddy is). 

I was on the phone to my Mother-in-Law yesterday evening and the kids were just going crazy (as they do whenever you dare put a telephone to your ear!) Sophie kept picking up Elliott and carting him around the house, the dog was chasing the kids around the play area, the kids were squealing and giggling with delight and they were also climbing all over the train table to try and get away from him. I had to halt my conversation with Elaine a few times to rouse on the kids but then came the conversation stopper...someone was knocking on the door while Sophie was picking up Elliott to throw him on the couch and the dog was trying to hump Sophie! Naturally, when I opened the door, Sophie said to this complete stranger "Welcome to the Mad House"...she wasn't too far wrong!   

Happy Friday xox

Breakup Letter

Dear 3am, 

We have got to stop meeting like this, as in, meeting at all. It pains me to say this but I just don't want to see you any more because I've found someone else...his name is Sleep. Now, I don't want you to feel hurt by this letter so you need to know that it's not you, it's me. Actually, that's a lie; the past few years of sporadic rendezvous and the most recent couple of weeks of nightly meetings have made me realise a few things that I just don't like about you...

First of all, you are so golly gosh darn cold! I hate being pulled out of my beautiful warm bed when you wake the kids up crying, coughing or from having a nightmare. You know that using the kids will pull on my heart strings and I will have no choice but to roll over and see your red face on the clock glaring at me to get up. Not cool 3am, not cool at all. You know I love my children but I get my fill of time with them between the hours of 5am and 7pm. Any time outside of this turns me into kind of a bitch so the time you and I are spending together isn't exactly what you would call quality time now is it?

Also, my retinas can't handle the insanely bright light emitted by the fridge when I fetch the kids Panadol in the middle of the night. And don't even get me started on my journey to the fridge! Everything is amplified at your ridiculous hour and the sound of my wobbly things rubbing together while I walk is deafening! I have plenty of time during the daylight hours to beat myself up about my weight so I don't need you reminding me of it night after night thank you very much!

Speaking of making my way to the fridge in the dark, 3am, I am sure you change the layout of my house before you wake me up. The amount of times I have walked into a door frame, the train table, the craft table, the stools, the bench etc is immeasurable. Then there are the kids rooms! I know the layout of those rooms like the back of my hand but you can guarantee I will stub my toe on the rocking chair, the cot and even Sophie's bed if I have to go in there in the middle of the night. I just can't handle you beating me up like this any more!           

Finally 3am, I really hate the way that you wake me up to see you but then after about a minute, you disappear and leave me wide eyed with my mind racing and full of chatter. It can take me hours to turn my mind off and finally get back to the one I love, Sleep. The time he and I spend together is so brief because before I know it, my husbands alarm is going off, the kids are waking and it is time to start the day all over again. I am sorry 3am, but Sleep and I need to spend far more time together than you are allowing with your constant interruptions.  

Now don't get me wrong 3am, we have had some really great times together over the years but we have drifted apart. I am afraid you want something from me that I am just not able to give you. You know the old saying "there are plenty more fish in the sea" and I know there are lots of people out there who would love to get to know you...Uni students, party animals and shift workers. Don't be sad 3am, we just don't fit together any more. I hope we can still be friends and catch up for the occasional cuppa and watch trashy Infomercials together but for now, we need to go our separate ways. So it is with heavy eyelids that I say good luck and goodbye 3am. 

Sincerely, 

Kate   

The nightmare continues

My poor little Sophie keeps on having nightmares and there seems to be no pattern as to what may be causing it. Sometimes she is too hot, sometimes she is too cold, sometimes she is just right. Sometimes she is sick and sometimes she is well. Sometimes she has some sweets after dinner and most times she doesn't. There really seems to be no link between her waking life and her sleeping life that causes the nightmares! The subject varies from time to time and the most recent spout of nightmares involves sharks. Sharks in a pool, sharks in the ocean, sharks in the bath and all the while they are either chasing her, her friends or someone in our family. So I did a bit of Googling...

Apparently water in dreams links to your unconscious mind and therefore anything that is in the water will likely link to your feelings or intuitions in some way. Sharks specifically tend to relate to worries and fears but I am puzzled as to what kind of fears Sophie may be experiencing. I did a bit of further reading and apart from feelings stemming directly from Sophie, the sharks could link to moments when she senses bad feelings within others or her environment feels bad or poisoned in some way. This is a very possible reason because she is such an empathetic little soul that she easily picks up on how others are feeling. With all of this information in mind, I will pay closer attention and try and work out where this fear or unease is coming from. 

On a general note regarding nightmares or night terrors, I came across this amazing site that I highly recommend taking a look at: http://creativedreaming.org/media-library-2/childs-dreams-and-nightmares--patricia-garfield.pdf It gives you specific questions to ask and actions to take to help your child when they experience a nightmare. It is so thorough and as you can imagine, there is too much information to effectively discuss in today's post. I do however want to give you a little bit of advice to take away and apply tonight if your little one is in the same boat as Sophie. So here it is:

First Aid for Nightmares 

1. Encourage your child to describe their dream: "Tell me about it"; "What happened next?"; "Then what did you do?"; "How did it end?". 
2. Discuss alternative solutions to the nightmare.
3. Suggest your child use an alternative solution if the dream occurs again
4. Give lots of love, cuddles and reassurance to let the child know they are safe (I added this part because while the author of the article doesn't mention it, it is pretty darn important!)

I guess the most important thing to remember when your child experiences nightmares is that you can actually empower them to change their dream for the better. Just by talking with them you can empower them to become active rather than passive in their dreams; teach them to conquer the fear that is plaguing them and teach them to stay and fight (appropriately of course) rather than run and hide. Just remember the phenomenal power of your words as a parent and use them wisely. 

Oh, Daaaad!

This is going to be a very sweeping comment and I will preface it by saying not all partnerships fall into this dynamic but let's face it, Mum's are way more on the ball than Dad's are when it comes to the kids. I hear gasps of horror from a few of you out there but I can feel the wind on my face of soooo many of you beautiful Mum's nodding away in complete agreement. Let me give you a couple of examples...

When I was younger, I used to end up in hospital quite a lot with bad asthma and croup. Of course this would happen in the middle of the night so Mum or Dad had to take me up to the hospital while the other parent stayed home with my brothers tucked snugly in their beds. I remember one particular night, I was going through the admissions process and while I lay in a bed with my nebuliser mask on, Dad sheepishly comes in with the clipboard of paperwork in his hand. "Honey" he said "what is your middle name again?" What the? My own father had forgotten my middle name? Surprising seeing as he chose it! With my shallow breaths I managed to tell him my middle name and chastise him for forgetting it. The smirk on the nurses face said it all...only a Dad would forget his child's middle name!

Then there is this little classic that goes on in my household all the time! Mat will often wake in the morning and say "Gee the kids slept well" or remark on a weekend how wonderfully late the kids are sleeping in (after 7am is a late sleep in for our pair of early risers). Every time these words roll out of his mouth I look at him in disbelief. Not once has this actually happened, it is just that he is lucky enough to sleep through the graveyard shift of parenting. We can have the kids screaming during the night, coughing, crying, and even coming into our bed but he doesn't notice at all! It truly amazes me because I can hear the kids fart or groan in the night and before I know it, I am instinctively jumping out of bed to check on them. On the flip side of this though, Mat has remarked that he can come home late after a night out, smash, crash and bang his way through the house to our bedroom and loudly make his way into bed and I don't wake up at all. Good point. But I am still baffled by his inability to hear the kids during the night, even when they are right beside him!

Lastly, I have to give you an example that took place yesterday at the kindy pick up. Soph's kindy is attached to a school so you often have parents coming to collect their kindy children with their school children in tow. Yesterday, one of Sophie's friends, Caitlyn, was picked up by her Dad and he was loading his kids into the car not too far from where I was doing the same. All set, he started to drive off only he didn't get very far because his daughter, who must have been in Grade 2 or 3, started banging on the side of the car...the outside of the car. He had completely forgotten her! Oh my goodness, he was mortified and I was trying to make it look like I hadn't noticed but here was Sophie, staring and asking loudly "Why is she banging on the car? Why did her Dad forget her?" I quickly bundled Soph into our car, questions still flying, and tried my gosh golly darn hardest not to look over in the direction of parenting mistake #1: Forgetting Your Child. 

So, there you have it, some pretty concrete evidence that sometimes Dad's are not quite on the ball and in fact completely drop the ball from time to time! While we wouldn't change them for the world because they have so many wonderful parenting qualities, surely we could tweak them just a little??

Special Occasions

Good morning guys :) Today is a special day because it is my wedding anniversary! I have to admit though, over the last six years I have been pretty bad at remembering it. At the first year mark, I thought we got married on the 20th June but in my defence, I was pregnant at the time so my brain had take a leave of absence. I remembered the following two years but the fourth year, when I was pregnant again, it totally slipped my mind. Thankfully since then I have remembered both last year and this year, although when I was listening to a quiz on the radio this morning asking what date it is, I had no idea. Hopeless! 

For our anniversaries, Mat and I don't buy each other gifts but we go out to dinner or a movie together instead. Tonight, we will have the kids so after they go to bed we'll be having a date night in. I had planned on making all of Mat's favourite foods as a surprise for him but then I thought what kind of anniversary is that for me...no gift, no night out and having to cook a whole lot of food. Plus I am still feeling quite sick so I think I will pass on that idea and save it for our tenth anniversary or something. Actually, this brings me to my point for today's Motivational Monday piece...stop saving things for "special occasions"!!

We all do it. We save the good glasses or plates for special occasions, or we save gift ideas for special occasions, or we even save outfits for the kids for special occasions! Of course, those glasses go unused, the gift ideas don't often eventuate and the kids outgrow the outfits by the time that special occasion rolls around. Such a shame! 

I don't really understand why we do it so I am proposing a shift in the way we think and operate. Really, isn't every day a special occasion? Each morning we wake up, breathing, fighting fit and blessed with the opportunity to spend time with our loved ones sounds like a pretty special occasion to me. We should be enjoying all those special things every day and I for one am going to start doing just that. Before I went to bed last night I wrote on my motivational whiteboard in my bedroom "Today is going to be the best day ever!" and it is amazing how much of a positive impact it is having on my day so far! 

So lets embrace this way of looking at things, even if it is only for today. Don't wait for special occasions and make today your best day ever! xox

Juggling Act

The kids and I are sick with a cold so I spent a good chunk of yesterday sitting down and doing as little as possible. Normally I just get on with life when I am feeling sick but it was day one of my cold and my body ached, my throat hurt, my head felt like it was going to explode and I was exhausted from being awake for many hours the night before. So I attempted to get on with the day but by about 10am, I decided "bugger it"...I spend every day bending over backwards for my little family and I reasoned that they will certainly survive with one day of crappy mothering. And they did. But, when Mat got home at last night, the kids were bouncing off the walls because they didn't expend anywhere near enough energy during the day to tire them out!

Anyway, the point of mentioning all of that relates to the "stillness" of the day. As I sat around, I noticed sooooo many things that I want to do/change/improve in our household. For starters, I am having a toy cull. I can't believe how many toys the kids have! They have so many that they just pull them off the shelves, spread them around the house to make a nice big mess and then proceed to step over them and ignore them until said toys magically find their way back to the shelf, neatly assembled and become appealing again. Agh! 

Then there is my craft room. I have hardly been in there in the last few months and that is just not goo enough. There are about ten projects I want to get stuck into to beautify the house but they always get pushed to the bottom of the list. I hate that! Being creative is something that makes me feel really great and is something I need in my every day life. So I am going to schedule my time so I can get my creative on at least twice a week for starters. Every day would be better, but I'll take it in baby steps. 

Then there is the dreaded paperwork and the office. Yuk, yuk, yuk. I hate paperwork but I need to get over that and implement a fool proof system to make the business side of our life much easier. I guess this should be my top priority...actually I know this should be (and will be) my top priority. Boring but necessary. 

Of course there are loads of other things like menu plans, sorting out the pantry, taking stock of the freezer etc etc. In hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have rested yesterday because now I have just created more work for myself!!! I think today I shall focus on playing with the kids to make up for economy class mothering yesterday and creating a prioritised list of all the things that need to be done around here. The end results will be worth it and lets face it, the juggling act never ends!



"Way to overreact, Mum"

I spent more of last night awake than I did sleeping, so my mind was racing as to what I wanted to talk about today. I thought I would share with you a couple of times that I may have overreacted or "jumped the gun" when it comes to the kids...

Sophie has always been a pretty good eater but a little over a year ago she seemed to be eating amounts of food that would rival that of her father! It went on for a few days and while I wasn't too concerned, I hit the old Google to try and see why on earth she was eating sooo much. The search page revealed itself and the words "parasitic worms" jumped off the page and burned into my retinas. Underneath that were horrible images of intestinal worms, tape worms, pin worms etc etc...it was gross!! So I immediately jumped to the conclusion that she had worms and I raced off tot he chemist to get some stuff to treat her. She gladly took the medicine but a few days later, nothing had changed! She was still eating piles of food at every meal! I went back to the internet, skipped Google and went straight to a reputable baby and child website. Reading the pages in a calm fashion and with the absence of worm images, I discovered that it was likely she was just going through a growth spurt. Now why didn't I think of that first instead of jumping straight to the worst case scenario?? Sure enough, within another day or two, she went back to eating her normal volume of food and she shot up several very noticeable centimeters. Yep, definitely a growth spurt. 

Then there was Tuesday this week. I had taken Elliott for a haircut last Friday and noticed he had been touching his head a lot over the long weekend. I started to think "what if he got head lice from that hairdressers?" but I couldn't see anything in his hair (if you are like me, you have just started scratching your scalp at the mere mention of the words "head lice"). Tuesday morning though, as he was sitting at the bench, I noticed these little black dots sporadically through his hair...I freaked out. I was convinced they were head lice eggs, vowed never to return to that very reasonably priced hairdressers and raced straight off to the chemist to get some head lice eradicating supplies. I returned home, overwhelmed with the thought of treating all four of us, hot washing the sheets, towels, hats etc and sterilising all the brushes...especially because it was a rainy day! So then I decided to return to my good friend Google and research what  the eggs look like...apparently they come in white, tan or brown but not black. So I started thinking back to the weekend and what on earth these little black dots could be. Then it dawned on me. Elliott had spent the best part of Monday in the shed with Mat, getting covered in grease, dirt, black car paint and goodness knows what else. In fact, at one stage, he fell into the side of Mat's car, near the tyre, and had his face half covered with dusty black muck. Ah ha! That is what the black stuff is randomly throughout his hair...crap from the shed! Well, at least I am equipped for the inevitable head lice battle that will likely begin with school next year. 

Aside from those overreactions, there are times where I react just fine. Like yesterday when Elliott came walking out with the toilet brush in his hand, fiddling with the germy brush end. My haste at washing his hands  and scolding him for playing with the darn thing was totally appropriate. Or last night, when I was cooking dinner and Elliott got the bathroom step and tried to climb up to the stove. The panicked yell I let out and throwing the bathroom step way off into another room was again, a totally appropriate reaction. and don't even get me started on this morning where just now he fetched the pizza cutter out of the kitchen drawer and rolled it across his hand. Seriously this kid gets into everything!!!! 

I better go and be an attentive Mum because clearly Danger is Elliott's middle name.

"Who, me?"

Give me strength

It is going to be one of those days! The kids seem to have done a little swap over night and it has me despairing as to why they can't both be angelic on the same day?!? Sophie is being a right royal pain in the backside with ears that are painted on and the attitude of a 16year old with PMS. Elliott on the other hand, greeted me with love, smiles and cuddles this morning and has done nothing but smile and giggle for the past couple of hours. Such a treat! So today will be what I refer to as a "behaviour modification day" for Sophie because if you give this child an inch of leeway, she runs a mile and we end up here with a ratbag on our hands. So in light of this, maybe in today's post I will talk about my thoughts on discipline...

As with all elements of parenting, there is no "right" way to discipline but there are certainly truck loads of wrong ways to do it. Take last night for example, the kids were fussing and carrying on fighting in the bath and I got so fed up that I just started screaming and shouting...not ideal and perhaps swaying towards the "wrong" way to discipline. I'm not beating myself up about it because we all lose the plot several times a week, what I am doing is taking stock of my own behaviour/thoughts/feelings and reassessing my discipline style. So here is where I am at: I believe discipline involves a balance of both consequences for negative behaviour and rewards for positive behaviour. You simply have to have a mix of both otherwise the results could be pretty extreme...low self esteem for a child that heard nothing but criticism and consequences or a child thinking the sun shines out their backside (more than normal) for constants praise and rewards. It really is a fine balancing act!

To decide on what techniques you will use for discipline, you have to find your child's currency and unfortunately what works for one may not work for the other! I have found what works best for Sophie is "time out" for poor behaviour because she hates not getting any attention (first child syndrome much?? lol). When it comes to smacking, I am certainly not against the idea but I find that it doesn't work exceptionally well for Sophie. Every now and again it is totally called for though and works a treat but as for being a regular discipline technique, it really doesn't get the desired results with Sophie. Elliott on the other hand hates getting a smack on the bum. If he is doing the wrong thing he is usually just moved away from whatever it is, but when he is being particularly naughty (like throwing the chairs at the craft table or throwing his food on the floor in a tantrum) he gets a smack on the bum or hand and is sent on his way. I imagine timeouts will eventually come for him but for now, this is the extent of it.  

So the other side of this is of course positive rewards. Sophie has a sticker chart and after she earns a certain number, she gets to chose a reward from the surprise basket. The basket is filled with goodies from the cheap shop and has everything from crafty supplies and necklaces to books and water bombs...whatever interests her at the time. Elliott is obviously too young for a rewards chart but the technique I use for him (and Sophie) are praise, love and words of affirmation. I am forever telling my children how loved they are, how well they are doing something, how kind they are being etc etc. Couple these words with lots of cuddles, high fives, thumbs up and cheering and you will see your child beam with pride and be eager to please you with great behaviour again. It makes you feel good too :) 

Lastly, there is the old bribery and corruption that simply can't be forgotten. Take right now for example...I have been constantly interrupted by my kids while typing this post so I just resorted to getting them each a lolly to give me five minutes to finish this off in peace. My best advice in this area is don't feel guilty! It took me a while to cotton onto this trick but now I simply wouldn't be without it.

What do you do for discipline or what do you remember from your childhood? 

Kate xox

19 Things to Say to Children

Good morning beautiful people :) I hope you all enjoyed your day off yesterday! I used to love public holidays because it meant time off work, but now I love them because I usually get Mat home and he can tend to the kids and give me a bit of a break. I was feeling quite unwell yesterday so I went back to bed after breakfast and just took it easy by staying in my dressing gown for the entire day. It was awesome! The best part was that Mat had a great time playing with the kids and they built themselves a massive cubby-house out of sheets and the dining room table (naturally it had a carpenters touch with a patio area and main living area). It was really lovely seeing how much joy Mat's presence brought to the kids and it got me thinking about the huge lifelong impact we have on our children, just based on the way we talk with them and interact with them. So today I want to share with you "19 things to say to children". I  have come across this list on a few other blogs but I can't seem to find the original source, so unfortunately I can't give credit where credit is due here. In saying that, a big shout out to the original author of this article and it is definitely something that all parents need to read and act upon. Enjoy! 

19 Things to Say to Children 

1. I love you! There is nothing that will make me stop loving you. Nothing you could do or say or think will ever change that.
2. You are amazing! I look at you with wonder! Not just at what you can do, but who you are. There is no one like you. No one!
3. It’s all right to cry. People cry for all kinds of reasons: when they are hurt, sad, glad, or worried; when they are angry, afraid, or lonely. Big people cry too. I do.
4. You've made a mistake. That was wrong. People make mistakes. I do. Is it something we can fix? What can we do? It’s all over. You can start fresh. I know you are sorry. I forgive you.
5. You did the right thing. That was scary or hard. Even though it wasn't easy, you did it. I am proud of you; you should be too.
6. I’m sorry. Forgive me. I made a mistake.
7. You can change your mind. It’s good to decide, but it is also fine to change.
8. What a great idea! You were really thinking! How did you come up with that? Tell me more. Your mind is clever!
9. That was kind. You did something helpful and thoughtful for that person. That must make you feel good inside. Thank you!
10. I have a surprise for you. It’s not your birthday. It’s for no reason at all. Just a surprise, a little one, but a surprise.
11. I can wait. We have time. You don’t have to hurry this time.
12. What would you like to do? It’s your turn to pick. You have great ideas. It’s important to follow your special interests.
13. Tell me about it. I’d like to hear more. And then what happened? I’ll listen.
14. I’m right here. I won’t leave without saying good-bye. I am watching you. I am listening to you.
15. Please and Thank You. These are important words. If I forget to use them, will you remind me?
16. I missed you. I think about you when we are not together!
17. Just try. A little bit. One taste, one step. You might like it. Let’s see. I’ll help you if you need it. I think you can do it.
18. I’ll help you. I heard you call me, here I am. How can I help you? If we both work together, we can get this done. I know you can do it by yourself, but I’m glad to help since you asked.
19. What do you wish for? Even if it’s not yet time for birthday candles and we don’t have a wishbone, it’s still fun to hear about what you wish for, hope for, and dream about.

Open wide

Hi everyone! This has nothing to do with anything really, but how damn gorgeous is Dr Travis Stork on the TV show The Doctors!?! I have just flicked the telly on and I am hooked, not because of the content of the show but the dreamy Dr Stork!! If you haven't ever seen the show, Google it because he is well worth the look! Sigh, anyway, back on track. The appointment that I briefly mentioned in yesterday's blog was taking Sophie to the Dentist for the first time and I wanted to share that story with you today...

We went to this great place at Thornlands called TFI where the Dentist and her assistant actually dress up as the Tooth Fairy! It was amazing! Tooth Fairy Steph looked after Sophie and she was astounded at how well behaved she was as a patient. She even remarked (genuinely) that Soph is the best four year old she's ever seen. Proud Mummy moment for sure :) Not such a proud moment is that Sophie needed to get a cavity filled (another one to chalk up to my mother of the year award). The clever way that to Tooth Fairy did this was by "painting" a white fairy on Sophie's tooth. Genius! Now Sophie is very aware of the fairy on her tooth and makes sure she brushes it very well. I can't say enough good things about this place so if you live locally, I highly recommend TFI for your kids dentistry!! 

As you can imagine, Sophie's favourite game is now "Dentists" so yesterday afternoon the kids and I all took turns at being the patient. When it was my turn, I lay on the couch and both kids came and sat beside me to check out my teeth. Sophie used a little fairy wand to stick in my mouth but Elliott thought the best idea would be to use the handle of the toy mop! I got quite a shock when he shoved that down my gob! Sophie hopped up to collect some more dentist tools and I lay there with my mouth open saying "agh" for Elliott. He had Sophie's fairy wand in hand and stuck that in my mouth a couple of times and then he leaned over and stuck his spitty tongue in my mouth! Eeew, kids are so gross! I wet myself laughing of course and suggested that perhaps my turn at being the patient was over :) Always an adventure in our house! 

Busy, busy, busy

We have had quite a busy day so far but I love it! With my only two speeds being flat out or stop, I thrive on having a busy rush around kind of day...only after a full nights sleep of course because doing that sort of thing when you are exhausted and have kids in tow would be insanity on a stick! 

Anyway, I woke up thinking we had plenty of time to get ready so I stuffed around cleaning the bathrooms and playing with the kids. Then I looked on my calendar and realised that the appointment that I thought was at 9:45 was actually at 9:15! So it was all hands on deck to get sorted and out the door as quickly and efficiently as possible (losing half an hour is a really big deal on a busy day). We made it to our appointment with minutes to spare and after that, we headed down to the park for Mum's Group. We stayed there for only a short time and I admit, I totally blew my no sugar no dairy thing. You see, Kat's husband is a chef and Kat brought along the most divine berry and almond tarts with vanilla cream on top that her hubby had made. Not a single fiber of my being could have stopped me eating them and I tell you what, they were worth every bite!!! Absolutely delicious! Oh man, why does bad food taste so damn good?!?! I have to say though, after eating sugar, I am feeling really tired compared to the increase in energy I have had over the last few sugar free days. Interesting. 

From the park, we headed over and picked up my brother's girlfriend, Jayde and took her out for lunch. It is her 21st birthday and she was spending it all alone at home. Not on my watch! Birthday's are a big deal so the kids and I took her to a cafe and we enjoyed some tasty lunch. I'm not sure if everyone else in the cafe enjoyed their lunch with Elliott filling his nappy, Elliott squeezing tomato sauce all over the floor, both kids banging their drinks on the table and Sophie talking in her loud "look at me" voice. Just a normal day for me :) 

Now, as I am typing my blog, I am battling to get the kids to sleep. Elliott closed his eyes for literally 3 minutes in the car on the way home so as far as he is concerned, he's done with napping for the day. Sophie just keeps coming out asking if rest time is over. No it is not!! I love my children and in order to love them more, I need that break from them during the day. So it looks like the busy theme will continue for the afternoon with neither child sleeping, a few groceries to buy and a birthday cake to be made. It never stops in this mad house. 

Kate xox      

Day three

Morning guys :) Do you remember a week or two ago when I said that I was going to give up sugar after reading the book Sweet Poison by David Gillespie? Well the time has come and as of Monday, I have had a major diet overhaul. I am up to day three of no sugar and I am actually finding it a lot easier than I thought I would. When I say no sugar, I am still eating two pieces of fruit a day and yes fruit contains fructose but lets face it, no one has ever gotten fat from consuming two pieces of fruit a day. I am also experimenting with cutting out dairy. Being someone who always suffers from asthma, eczema, hayfever and acne, I thought I would give this a go because word on the street is that it is supposed to have a really positive impact on improving these conditions. Time will tell. 

So with no sugar and no dairy, things have changed quite abruptly! No more wine or cheesecake for breakfast...I am kidding of course, I don't usually have cheesecake for breakfast. So with my favourite food groups out, I have introduced a few new things to our diet. I bought bok choy and leek on the groceries and while I have eaten both of these things before, I have never actually prepared them myself. Then there is the tofu...Mat is jumping out of his skin with excitement about trying that (note the sarcastic tone in my voice). Mind you, while he has been screwing up his nose at many of the new foods, a surprising hit was the quinoa I made to go with the chicken stirfry. It was delicious! You'll find it in the health food section of the supermarket and I highly recommend giving it a go as a bit of a rice substitute. You will be pleasantly surprised!

So the last couple of days, my body has indeed noticed the absence of sugar but the only side effect seems to be that I feel sooooo tired for most of the day. I am sure this will improve over time and other than the prolonged state of exhaustion, I am feeling pretty good. I am not hungry or craving sugar, and I am surprised that I am finding it far less challenging than I thought it would be. As I said though, I am only on the morning of day three so things can still go either way...especially because I am making a cake for my brothers girlfriends birthday this weekend and it is going to take all my strength not to lick the bowl at the end. The jury is still out on whether or not I will have some cake at the party...it will depend on how much wine I drink and the impact this has on my judgement. Damn it. OK. so the weekend is likely to involve a lot of sugar, but come Monday, I will be back on the no sugar wagon for a while. I don't plan on never having sugar ever again, I just want to give my body a break from the constant onslaught and see how it goes. 

I can smell that Elliott needs my attention so I am off to embark on another sugar free day. Fingers crossed it is successful as the last two!

Kate xox   

     

Remind me

Today has started out a little bit shit and I really need to make an effort to remind myself why I love Mat so much. Let me take you back to Sunday where it all began...

I went out on Sunday and left Mat with the kids for about six hours. I gave him pretty clear advice (I would say instruction but "advice" sounds a little less harsh) that he needs to make them a healthy lunch and snacks, no TV and take them outside to play even though it is wet because they love splashing in muddy puddles. Naturally, when I got home, Sophie comes racing up to me and says "Mummy, we had chippies for lunch and watched movies!!" On further probing it became clear that all they had done was watch TV and eat junk food and they hadn't ventured outside at all. Grrrr. To top it off, Sophie is now sporting a rocking new 80's fringe after she gave herself a haircut on Mat's watch. We also have a carton of blue eggs because Sophie thought it would be nice to use blue food dye, sugar and water to decorate some eggs for her Granny...the kitchen was also a lovely tinge of blue. In Mat's defence though, he was asleep at the time so how was he to know what Sophie was up to? Aggggghhh!!! 

Anyway, I got over that and then came Monday. Nothing major compared to Sunday, just a simple little thing like cleaning up the kitchen. Mat got home from work last night and within about 10 minutes, I had to go out for the evening. So naturally, he would have to be the one to clean up the kitchen for the night. I decided not to tell him to do that and just see if he would...it didn't happen. I also called him when I was driving out of the street and told him to take the kids outside to see the Moon because it looked amazing. "Yes, yes" he said but of course, Sophie revealed this morning that they did not go out and admire the stunning full moon. Sigh. 

Then there was this morning. The troubles are not really Mat's fault entirely...actually yes, yes they are. Mat has two jobs in regards to maintaining the household; feed the dog and take the wheelie bins out for collection once a week. Not too much to ask. So this morning, the rubbish truck has already been to collect the green waste bin while I have been out but of course, our bin wasn't out there. Mat didn't put the bins out last night or this morning! I have just put out the main rubbish bin so thank goodness they haven't been collected yet. 

While I was out this morning, I needed to get fuel. I put that off nearly as much as I put off doing groceries so the situation was dire. I filled up the tank and went in to pay. Declined. What the? I knew there had to be money in there so I insisted the fellow at the counter keep trying. Then I had to go and pay a $2 ATM fee just to find out that there was not enough money in that account! I cursed Mat for whatever purchase he had made on the joint card that had caused the insufficient funds...perhaps it is the package coming via airmail today that I am supposed to be signing for. Curse his eBay addiction! No worries though, I will just log on via phone banking and transfer money from my account to the joint account and pay for the fuel. Oh no, the bank lines are down and internet banking is unavailable. Agggghhh! Thank goodness I had enough cash in my purse so I didn't have to leave Elliott at the petrol station as collateral. 

Then the next frustration of the morning was my fault. I went to drop the enrollment paperwork off at Sophie's new school and braved all the backed up morning traffic to do so. I reverse parked beautifully into a space, turned the car off, took my seat belt off, then declared "shit!" I had brought all the paperwork with me, except for her darn birth certificate. So I drove back home, through the chaos of school traffic, and here I find myself venting on my blog. 

Thank goodness for this blog, it is really like an online diary and I feel so cleansed having vented on here this morning. Thanks guys for listening to my rant :) I am off to have a banana (haven't managed time for breakfast yet) and do the dishes left them from last night...my mantra today: I love my husband, I love my husband, I love my husband.      

Kate xox


PS - I just discovered (well, Elliott discovered) a whole lot of screws and screw drivers Mat has left on the coffee table in the lounge room after fixing the areal cable last night. Agggghhhh! Husbands, who would have them?!?! I love my husband, I love my husband, I love my husband.