Breakup Letter

Dear 3am, 

We have got to stop meeting like this, as in, meeting at all. It pains me to say this but I just don't want to see you any more because I've found someone else...his name is Sleep. Now, I don't want you to feel hurt by this letter so you need to know that it's not you, it's me. Actually, that's a lie; the past few years of sporadic rendezvous and the most recent couple of weeks of nightly meetings have made me realise a few things that I just don't like about you...

First of all, you are so golly gosh darn cold! I hate being pulled out of my beautiful warm bed when you wake the kids up crying, coughing or from having a nightmare. You know that using the kids will pull on my heart strings and I will have no choice but to roll over and see your red face on the clock glaring at me to get up. Not cool 3am, not cool at all. You know I love my children but I get my fill of time with them between the hours of 5am and 7pm. Any time outside of this turns me into kind of a bitch so the time you and I are spending together isn't exactly what you would call quality time now is it?

Also, my retinas can't handle the insanely bright light emitted by the fridge when I fetch the kids Panadol in the middle of the night. And don't even get me started on my journey to the fridge! Everything is amplified at your ridiculous hour and the sound of my wobbly things rubbing together while I walk is deafening! I have plenty of time during the daylight hours to beat myself up about my weight so I don't need you reminding me of it night after night thank you very much!

Speaking of making my way to the fridge in the dark, 3am, I am sure you change the layout of my house before you wake me up. The amount of times I have walked into a door frame, the train table, the craft table, the stools, the bench etc is immeasurable. Then there are the kids rooms! I know the layout of those rooms like the back of my hand but you can guarantee I will stub my toe on the rocking chair, the cot and even Sophie's bed if I have to go in there in the middle of the night. I just can't handle you beating me up like this any more!           

Finally 3am, I really hate the way that you wake me up to see you but then after about a minute, you disappear and leave me wide eyed with my mind racing and full of chatter. It can take me hours to turn my mind off and finally get back to the one I love, Sleep. The time he and I spend together is so brief because before I know it, my husbands alarm is going off, the kids are waking and it is time to start the day all over again. I am sorry 3am, but Sleep and I need to spend far more time together than you are allowing with your constant interruptions.  

Now don't get me wrong 3am, we have had some really great times together over the years but we have drifted apart. I am afraid you want something from me that I am just not able to give you. You know the old saying "there are plenty more fish in the sea" and I know there are lots of people out there who would love to get to know you...Uni students, party animals and shift workers. Don't be sad 3am, we just don't fit together any more. I hope we can still be friends and catch up for the occasional cuppa and watch trashy Infomercials together but for now, we need to go our separate ways. So it is with heavy eyelids that I say good luck and goodbye 3am. 

Sincerely, 

Kate