It is the eve of Mat’s vasectomy and I will undoubtedly be talking about him over the next few days, so I thought I better introduce you to him J There are lots of words I could use to describe Mat (some of which would not be very pleasant in consideration of how frustrated I am with him this morning!) but the term that will paint the clearest picture is “blokey bloke”. Here is why I see him this way...
- I don’t have nail polish remover in my house. Instead, I have a 4L tin of Acetone.
- Next to my lush, soft loofa in the shower is Mat’s scrubbing brush. I kid you not, he scrubs his legs with a scrubbing brush to get rid of paint, concrete, timber glue etc.
- Mat’s bathroom items consist of soap, a razor and a toothbrush. As far as he is aware, the term “Metro” refers to the Metro Centre where men go to be neutered.
- When I do Mat’s washing, I don’t find money in the bottom of the machine. Instead, I find carpenters pencils, drill bits and nails, SO many nails!
- If he cuts his hand at work, he comes home with a piece of rag covering it, taped on with electrical tape (note to self: buy Mat a First Aid kit).
- When at work, most people write memos on a post-it note. Mat, however, comes home with his notes written on scrap pieces of plasterboard or timber.
- Mat’s Man Cave (aka the shed) is kitted out nicer than the house! In amongst his tools and car parts, he has a fireplace, a carpeted area, a projector, a TV, a stereo, a fully stocked drinks fridge...the list goes on!
- Mat can fix almost anything (that’s why I call him “Matgyver”, named after McGyver). I did say almost. My vacuum cord stopped retracting, no bother really, but Mat insisted on fixing it. Hours, and many curse words later, he calls out “Babe, you will have to buy a new vacuum cleaner”. The cord was the least of my problems as he’d broken the whole thing!
Yep, I’d say blokey bloke sums him up well J
No comments:
Post a Comment