The standoff

Last night, I arrived home at about 10:30pm after an evening out. As I approached the front door, fumbling with my keys, I went to pull the screen door open when I made a hideous discovery...there was HUGE toad right by the door!!! The standoff began...

Naturally, my first reaction was to jump backwards with movie style sound effects of “eek” and “ahhh”. Keeping my eyes on the vile thing the whole time, I began to try and work out what on Earth I was going to do. Perhaps I will go around the back...no that’s not an option because I only have a key to the front door. I know, I’ll call Mat. Sure, he is asleep, but this is an emergency! I hear his phone ringing in the kitchen, a distress call that goes unanswered. S#*t, what am I going to do now? Think, Kate, think! Aha, I pick up a handful of rocks and throw them at the toad. Nothing! The tinging of the rocks against the glass door panel rules out my next thought to get a bigger rock and throw it harder. Time is slowly passing by, I call Mat again but there is still no answer! I am beginning to make quite a scene in our quiet street, “eeking” and dancing all over the front lawn. I am left with no option, I just have to toughen up and go inside via the hideous toad...

I begin by slowly opening the screen door, resulting in the toad hopping off the front step and heading towards the grass. I jump back again, “eeking” and fussing like there is no tomorrow. The toad stops, giving me enough room to pass and race inside. But oh no, I am not happy with that, I want the damn thing gone. I then stomp the ground behind it, which resulted in the freakin thing turning around and heading back to the safety of the door step! Now what am I going to do?!?! I begin seriously considering sleeping in my car when finally, my Knight in Shining Armour appears J Mat opens the door... naked. He retrieves a plank of timber and belts the vile toad out of the way...naked. Victory! The standoff is over and I am safely inside my house J

I must admit, as a little girl reading fairytales, I imagined my Knight in Shining Armour a little differently. But last night I learned that the moonlight shining off hubby's bare backside is as close as I will get to that fairytale...and in times of need, that is more than enough J