The Fanny Brush

We all know that privacy is a very elusive thing in the game of motherhood and no trip to the bathroom is made without an audience. Yesterday was no exception and Sophie was her usual chatty self as I dared to take a minute to empty my bladder. What was different though, was how vocal she was about her new interest in "private parts"...

Sophie- "Mum, do you absolutely have hair on your fanny?" (asked very matter of factly with a cheeky smirk on her face).

Me- "Yep" (thinking to myself that I must to make a waxing appointment ASAP).

Sophie- "Why?"

Me- "Well it happens when you are a teenager. You start to get hair on your vagina and it stays there when you are a grown up".

Sophie- "Ahhh" (as if that answer totally made sense). "Well I have hair on my fanny now. See?" (she boasts as she swiftly pulls down her pants).

Me- "Not really Honey, you don't get hair on your fanny until you are a teenager".

Sophie- "No Mum. See, I have blonde hair on there now!"

Me-"Well there might be a little bit of blonde hair there now, just like on the rest of our bodies, but when you are much older, there will be lots more on there".

Sophie- "Ohhhhhhhhhhhha, I wish I had hair on my fanny right now!" 

Me-"Why?" (a giggle starting to bubble in my voice).

Sophie- "Because having hair on your vagina would be fun".

Me - "What?" (insert laughter here!) "Why would hair on your vagina be fun?"

Sophie- "Because you can have hair on there and sit on your vagina and stuff like that, that would be fun". 

Me- "Really? That is why you think it would be fun?"

Sophie- "Yes. You actually just sit on it".

Me- "Fair enough. So you don't put hair clips in it or anything like that. Not like the hair on your head?"

She looked at me like I was an idiot. 

Sophie- "No. You just brush it with a fanny brush"

The laughter was uncontrollable now. 

Me- "A fanny brush? What?" laughing so hard. "What on Earth does a fanny brush look like?"

Sophie- "It looks like a slinky, with zigzags. You buy it from the supermarket you know." (All said so matter of factly).  

I am now crying with laughter. 

Sophie is really into singing and rhyming right now so she belted out a tune in her operatic singing voice...

Sophie- "If you can see some dry stuff, you can see a fanny brush". 

The laughter continues. The singing continues... 

Sophie- "Doing the Slomp-a-dee".

I stopped laughing long enough to ask what on Earth the "Slomp-a-dee" is. 

Sophie- "It is when you are sitting on your fanny of course!"

So there you have it folks, Sophie has cleared everything up for us: the slomp-a-dee is when you are sitting on your hairy vagina and the fanny brush is used for all your vaginal brushing needs. Hahahahahah, oh how entertaining life is through the eyes of a child! 

PS - In 1849 there was an unfortunate soul born in New York called Fanny Brush.