F*#%ing Fours

We have all heard of the Terrible 2’s but did you know there are actually two more stages of challenging childhood behaviour? According to my dear Mum, following on from the Terrible 2’s are the Throttling 3’s and the F*#%ing 4’s. After the way Sophie has been behaving of late, I am certainly inclined to believe it...

I recall when the Terrible 2’s began with Sophie and in hindsight, they really weren’t that terrible. There was the occasional wall painting with a tub of nappy rash cream or a break and enter on the bathroom cupboard, but overall, nothing too difficult.

Then there were the Throttling 3’s and this is where the magic really began. As Sophie’s language skills developed, along with her independence, everything became a negotiation. Simple requests such as “Sophie, come and sit at the table, dinner’s ready” were met with “Well I’ll just finish playing with this and then I will have dinner”. “Actually no, Sophie, toys away, it’s dinner time”. “But why?” Oh God!!! The “why” phase. What a nightmare!!!!!!! I can’t forget to mention that during the Throttling 3’s, Sophie learnt that the time out chair is not just for sitting in, it can be thrown whilst screaming like a banshee too. Very effective behaviour for inducing a desire to throttle so I would say the Throttling 3’s lived up to their name.

Next of course, are the F*%#ing 4’s. I had forgotten about this phase until Monday, when I realised we are already in the thick of it...

I could hear Sophie screaming over the top of the vacuum cleaner, so I assumed she had severed a limb or cracked her skull. Oh no, she simply wanted to play a board game with me. In my mind played the words “For f*%#s sake!”

Whilst serving up morning tea, every suggestion I made was met with “No, I don’t like that” or “No, I don’t want that”. In my mind played the words “For f*#%s sake!”

I could hear Elliott screaming for the 94^th time that morning as a result of Sophie bothering him unnecessarily. In my mind played the words “For f*%#s sake!”

Sophie made a request and when told “No”, she responded with “Well actually, yes” and attempted to carry on doing what she pleased. In my mind played the words “For f*%#s sake!”

So in light of the internal dialogue I had going on Monday, I would say yes, we are well and truly in the phase of the F*%#ing 4’s. Sigh. Give me strength!